Recovery

I get uneasy when I sense you are near.
I get uncomfortable now, here comes all that I should fear.
They say you come at all times of the day
I used to sense you and digest or deflect… and somehow you would fade away
As tense as I am - I know you have to stay
This discomfort that temporarily resides over me
I need not search for things, things to distract me
So if I drop the fear, if I drop the excuse
If I shake off all that I knew can you save me, can I become new?
The answers I search for are endless and flow ever so easily
Stop playing the intellectual card F*** it I want to be free
So the struggle that I face is nothing more than something I need to face
Drop it - leave it…….I am ready to shine!
Somehow I knew along it was always my time
I will turn inside out the logic I used to keep
For me now it is feelings, they will make me see
So I didn’t face it yesterday I found every distraction I could find
I knew you were there, sitting in the back of my mind
Is it courage one needs, one needs to become free?
Haven’t I stamped that symbol, on my skin to remind me?
Logic didn’t work; tattoo the ink shall forever remain
What am I waiting for? It is me that I can only blame.
If I held on to resistance too long please forgive me now
I let it go I let it go….I LET IT GO!
I release it for ME, for MY pure being.
I am starting to forgive myself for always not seeing.